


No Reason to be Upset

by lesbianplantnerd



Category: The Penumbra Podcast
Genre: Author is definitely not projecting, Gen, Light Angst, i guess, not at all, nothing really causes the breakdown just some bad brain juice, peter has a little breakdown
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-23
Updated: 2021-01-23
Packaged: 2021-03-15 14:40:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 585
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28940103
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lesbianplantnerd/pseuds/lesbianplantnerd
Summary: Peter Nureyev has a little breakdown in his room
Comments: 2
Kudos: 14





	No Reason to be Upset

**Author's Note:**

> I'm just gonna.... process my issues through Petey boy
> 
> Enjoy!

Peter Nureyev is a perfectly functional human being. Or at least that’s what he keeps telling himself, despite the impending sense of doom crawling through his brain. Sure, he’s got debts, and maybe he hasn’t managed to earn the trust of the crew yet, but ultimately today should be a good day. Or at least neutral.

There’s nothing that demands his immediate attention, no one asking his attention and requiring him to don a mask so long as he remains in his room. The Carte Balance is sailing towards their next target, but they shouldn’t be there for a few days and in the meantime the crew is free to do as they please.

_Free to do as I please._

What in interesting concept, but not one Nureyev is incredibly familiar with. He has spent what seems like his whole life being startlingly busy to keep himself safe and at peak performance. He has already worked out, eaten all the appropriate meals for this time of afternoon, and the information for the next mission has not yet been compiled for him by the Captain to study.

So what is he supposed to do?

Juno and Rita are having a stream night and he doesn’t want to interrupt them. The rest of the crew is off doing their own tasks, not that they would tolerate his presence for long anyway.

At the growing lack of options for entertainment, Nureyev shakes his hands out, trying to come up with something, anything to occupy his brain. Music or streams are unappealing, he isn’t hungry, there’s no one for him to follow around and focus on, and being out in the open even in his small room is starting to make him antsy.

So of course, he crawls into his closet, clearing a space for himself in the mound of clothes.

It is dark, and marginally quieter than the room, with the closed door further insulating him from the electric hum of the ship. But nope, this isn’t doing it. There may be not things to upset him in here, but there are also no distractions in here to keep him from noticing how fast his heart is beating. He can upset himself just fine all on his own, thank you very much! Even though he has no reason to be upset at this particular moment and should really be FINE.

His hand lands on a soft object next to him. A weighted blanket that had been a gift from Rita.

_Maybe this will work,_ he thinks to himself.

And so he retreats to his bed, from the cramped closet, dragging the heavy blanket over with him. He lays down stiff as a board, unable to relax while pulling and arranging the bedding to cover him, allowing the weight of the blanket to cover his body.

This is a little better, but still too much room for his nerves to act on him. He grabs his comms and starts up some audio stream he had been listening to and fills his ears with noise, staring at the ceiling and focusing on the sounds as much as possible, but not really processing the words.

After some time, he realizes the feeling has passed. It is nearly time for dinner, he realizes. And so he gets up, tosses the blanket back where he had found it, and tidies himself up for the meal as if nothing had happened, with none of the crew the wiser to the weaknesses of his mind.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! 
> 
> Very open to any constructive criticism, I've read a lot of fanfic but this is my first finished attempt at writing any.
> 
> <3


End file.
